What's Best for Me
by Pilla Jeffrey
Summary: Troy realizes some hard truths about his relationship with Gabriella. Canonbased.
1. Another Color Turns to Gray

**TITLE**: What's Best For Me  
**AUTHOR**: Pilla Jeffrey  
**CATEGORY**: Drama, Angst  
**PAIRING**: Troy/Gabriella, Troy/Sharpay  
**SPOILERS**: Have you seen the movies?  
** SEASON / SEQUEL**: After HSM2  
**RATING**: PG  
** CONTENT WARNINGS**: mild language  
** SUMMARY**: Troy realizes some hard truths about his relationship with Gabriella.  
**ARCHIVE**: anywhere else, ask.  
**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own HSM in any incarnation. All original characters and ideas are mine, though, so don't archive without my permission!  
** AUTHOR'S NOTES**: Is it just me, or did Gabriella act like a completely selfish nutjob in HSM2? (I mean, come on. "I've gotta do was best for _me_" x ad nauseam?) Anyone who's applied to college knows how important it is to network and do whatever it takes to get in, especially if you want to be in something as selective as a basketball team. Troy wasn't even neglecting her that much. In general, I've found that Gabriella doesn't trust Troy and is more concerned with herself than their relationship, thus doesn't deserve him. Not to mention that the most honest scene in the entire movie was when Troy and Sharpay talked in her dressing room, with Gabi out of sight, and, in my case, out of mind. End rant, start story.

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**Chapter One: Another Color Turns to Gray**

"Oh, Troy," Gabriella giggled, pushing him away in the water. "You can't hold onto me or else I won't be able to tread and we'll drown." 

"Oh, I'm sure you could save me, Miss Lifeguard," Troy teased, kissing the tip of her nose. The pool party had been a success. Everyone was having a great time. Gabriella and he had been splashing around in the pool for a good half-hour. They'd tried to get Chad and Taylor to join them—Sharpay and Ryan, they knew, would be lost causes, never wanting to ruin their Dolce and Gabbana—but to no avail.

Gabriela shivered. "I knew this whole 'jumping-into-the-pool-clothed thing was a bad idea. Now I'm waterlogged _and_ freezing, instead of just freezing."

"Spoilsport," Troy playfully whispered into her ear. Gabriella laughed and leaned back, floating face-up as she kicked herself to edge of the pool. Troy followed her out, grabbing a towel. Unlike Gabriella, he'd forgotten to bring a change of clothes and would have to make due with a wet outfit.

As Gabriella hurried into the locker room, Troy toweled himself off. He thought that he should feel like he'd never been happier in his entire life. He and Gabriella were back together. His friends didn't hate him anymore. He had made a cool $3,000 dollars that could go toward college. He'd played with the Red Wings. After being so close to losing everything, he'd gotten all he'd ever wanted. To a certain extent, he was happy. He was extremely happy. And yet something was nagging him.

He sat down on a pool chair and looked out at all of his fellow Wildcats. Chad was teasing Taylor into a kiss. Jason was trying to help Kelsi salvage her electronic keyboard that had gotten wet. Ryan was teaching Martha the basics of tap, which was hard to do on a pool deck.

And then there was Sharpay. She'd been dancing with Zeke earlier, but the young chef had faced one of the drama queen's patented mood swings and left to play basketball with some of the other Wildcats. So there was Sharpay, alone. She sat at the edge of the pool, as if contemplating something so hard that she for once didn't need to be the center of attention. One of her Sharpayettes had handed her a lemonade and she was chewing the straw in perfect rhythm.

He couldn't help but feel bad for Sharpay. Even though he hadn't tricked her off the stage, he still felt responsible for it. He'd promised to sing with her and, even though it was inadvertent, he'd lied to her.

He still could see the mascara running down her face when he confronted her. He could see her heart breaking quietly when she told him that she'd wished he was doing it all for her. Before, He had thought that Sharpay just wanted him as some sort of arm candy. To see how much she genuinely cared about him was a rude awakening. It had made him uncomfortable and flattered, but mostly uncomfortable. It was so much easier to deal with Sharpay when he pretended that she didn't have feelings.

But her hoarse voice still fluttered in his ear and her teary face still floated in his sight. When he'd grabbed her to join them all onstage, she's never looked so genuine and so beautiful. He had seen her hurting from the wings and he couldn't bear to be part of the group subjugating her.

Towel in hand, he went and sat down next to her. "Great party, huh?" he said brightly.

Sharpay shrugged. "I guess."

Troy leaned into her a bit, lowering his voice. "Are you okay, Sharpay?"

She inhaled deeply, but not dramatically. "Okay enough."

"I saw you dancing with Zeke. You know, he really likes you."

"I don't know why. I'm not really that likeable." Her voice was flat. "Zeke's nice and a great baker. Trust me, it's been hard to maintain my figure with all the chocolate chip cookies he's been leaving in my locker all year. But he's not for me."

Troy felt uncomfortable again, but he swallowed it. "Well, senior year's going to be great!" he said awkwardly.

"Listen, Troy." Sharpay's voice was sharp. "I appreciate whatever you're trying to do here. But I don't need your pity."

"It's not pity—"

"I know what pity is, Troy. I've been a performer long enough to know when someone is being insincere." Whatever she'd been contemplating before was spinning in her mind, waiting to get out.

She faced Troy, her eyes locking with his. "Let's be frank, Troy. Gabi doesn't deserve you. You're a great guy. You always think about others first and you stick to your guns no matter what. No matter who," she added softly. "And I really respect that about you, Troy. Whatever I did this summer, I did it with your future in mind. I was thinking about how to help you. What was Gabriella doing? Standing in your way. Demanding that her present is more important than your future. That she's more important than your relationship."

Sharpay leaned closer. Troy could smell the slightly citrusy scent of her hair and see her coffee eyes—not as dark as Gabriella's, but just as captivating—soften ever-so-slightly.

"Troy, I'm a bitch." Troy opened his mouth instinctively protest and Sharpay put her finger to his lips. "Don't try to lie to me, it's true. I don't pretend to be anything more than I am. What's Gabriella's excuse?"

With that, she retracted her finger and gave him one last serious look before she deliberately got up and left, the citrus smell still meandering through the air.

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**Next Chapter: **

_ Troy never cried. He hadn't cried since his father told him that real boys didn't cry. But he could feel the hot tears haunting his eyes and clouding his vision. Gabriella was already in a fit, bereft with tears._


	2. Gotta Go My Own Way

**A/N: **Thank you for all the positive comments and some seriously critical analysis of the Troy/Gabriella relationship! It's much-needed, in my honest opinion.

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**Chapter Two: Gotta Go My Own Way **

Sharpay's words wouldn't stop spinning in Troy's head. _"What's Gabi's excuse?"_ she'd said. Well, what was her excuse?

Troy cared about Gabi more than he could say. Whatever love was, he was in it or close to it. She was beautiful and smart and sweet. She'd helped him discover new parts of himself that he'd never even considered.

He'd never thought of Gabi to be selfish or self-centered. When she'd dropped out of their callback because of what he said to Chad and the team, Troy fully believed that he was in the wrong to be talking smack about Gabriella, even if he were in the locker room and in the confidence of his teammates. When she broke up with him this summer, he'd been the one who had been breaking their dates and had been being rude to his classmates.

But he was also the one who wanted to work it out through all the difficulties and hang-ups. He never gave up on Gabriella. She seemed too willing to give up him.

Troy banished the thoughts from his head. Gabi would never abandon him. Not if he did her right. He had been a complete jerk this summer.

Or had he? Sharpay's words came back. _"Whatever I did this summer, I did it with your future in mind. I was thinking about how to help you. What was Gabriella doing? Standing in your way."_

Gabi knew how important college was. She was the smartest girl in the entire grade. And unlike Troy, whose upper middle-class roots were someone limiting when it came to college, Gabriella's mother was loaded. Gabriella didn't even need to think about scholarships or proving herself. Unlike basketball, where Troy had to the best always, Gabriella's GPA was so perfect that a minor slipup senior year wouldn't affect her chances at any school. Heck, this was the girl who got a 2380 on her SATs and told him that his 1850 wasn't _that_ bad as long as he did well next season.

She'd have no problem getting into University of Albuquerque. Or, and Troy's mind sputtered suddenly, anywhere else.

Troy realized that the two of them had never discussed college. Well, they'd talked about college _in general_, but even though he talked all the time about wanting to be a Redhawk, she just always smiled and said that he'd have a great time.

Gabriella finally came out of the locker room. "Hey Troy. You ready to go home?"

She was smiling at him, but he couldn't smile back. "Yeah. I'm ready."

They got into his car and started driving. If Gabi noticed that Troy was more silent than usual, she didn't mention it.

By the time they got to her house, Troy thought he was going to explode in the silence. Gabi was content, half-asleep.

"Gabi, we're here."

Troy roused her, a sleepy smile gazing at him from her lips. "Oh, already?" she murmured, getting up. "Do you want to come in?"

If he came in, he'd have to say something. If he didn't, he could just forget all of this and be the dumb jock with his beautiful girlfriend again.

"Sure," he said, and he instantly regretted it. She took him upstairs to her room. They sat on her bed, quieter than they'd ever been.

"Gabi," he began. "Have you started looking at college apps?"

She laughed, tickling him lightly. "Of course, silly. I'm the valedictorian."

"Uh…where are you looking at?"

Gabriella smiled. "Well, I've started on my Harvard and Yale applications. I still need to start Princeton and Brown." At his look, she added, fumbling, "And Albuquerque. Of course."

"You don't want to apply to U of A. You don't want to be with me." The words stung as they slipped off his tongue. "You're leaving."

" Troy! What are you talking about? I'm—no. I've already been offered a scholarship to go to Albuquerque. I'd be going there for nearly free. I'm seriously considering it. I'm not leaving you." She looked at him like he was wearing a clown suit.

"But you don't want to go there. You want to go to the east coast and meet some future president in your quantum physics class." Troy's breathing became shallow.

Gabriella wrapped her arms around Troy. " Troy. What president has _ever_ taken quantum physics?"

Troy removed himself from her embrace with a frown. Gabriella sighed. " Troy. Come on. That was a joke. You know how much I care about you."

"You knew how much I cared about you when you broke up with me this summer!" he seethed. He'd never gotten this mad at her before.

Gabriella looked at him, speechless. Her eyes were glossy. " Troy," she pleaded, "you know that I didn't want to break up with you."

"But you did, Gabi. You broke up with me because I was trying to get into a good college, because I was thinking about my future, because I was thinking about something that wasn't you for the first time in months, so you broke up with me. How are your plans to go to the east coast any different than my playing with the Redhawks?" Troy glared at her. "I love you so much. So much that I feel like I'm ripping my heart out of my chest every single time I think that I hurt you. But what about when you hurt me?"

The hinted tears in her eyes finally fell. "You know I never wanted to hurt you."

"What did you say to me when you broke up with me? 'What about _trust_, Troy? What about _me_, Troy?' Well, what about you, Gabi? When I was worrying about us and proving to you that I wasn't some dumb jock that wasn't going anywhere, you were too concerned with yourself. You _knew_ nothing was going on between me and Sharpay. And even though you were acting cozy with Ryan, I didn't say a word. _You're_ the one who didn't trust me. _ I'm_ the one who wanted to stick it out in the hard times. I have to work so hard to please everyone and out of all of them, you should always have my back." He pursed his lips. "You've never trusted me. You ditched me after Chad and Taylor deceived us before the callbacks. You're the one who is always leaving me. And I'm tired of begging you to take me back."

Troy never cried. He hadn't cried since his father told him that real boys didn't cry. But he could feel the hot tears haunting his eyes and clouding his vision. Gabriella was already in a fit, bereft with tears.

" Troy, what are you doing?" she choked out. "Why are you doing this?"

"Just answer me this: if you get into Harvard, Yale or whatever Ivy of your choice, will you go there?"

Gabriella put her hands on his chest. " Troy, don't do this," she whispered.

"Just tell me."

She sighed, averting his gaze, not answering.

Troy's breath constricted in his throat and he finally let the tears fall. "That's all I needed to know."

Troy shook his head and started gathering up his things. Gabriella swallowed hard. "Who are you to be saying all this?" Gabriella said. "What were you doing all this summer? Having your friends wait on you? Forgetting me? Getting me into trouble? You knew how important this summer was for me."

"You knew how important this opportunity was for me! Without basketball, I have nothing."

"You have _me_!" Gabriella clung to him. "You have me! Doesn't that matter?"

"You had me. And then _you_ ditched _me_. How can I trust you if I know you're going to run when the times get tough? How can we make it long distance if you can't work things out? If you're not willing to trust me?"

"I trust you!" Her voice sounded shrilly and weak. "Please, Troy. I trust you. Don't do this. We'll work it out."

This was the moment. Gabriella's eyes were piercing into his, pleading him, begging him. He'd always been on the other side of this exchange, Gabriella leaving him. And now that he was on the other side, he was so surprised that she'd been able to do it twice without tearing her heart to pieces. Her eyes looked darker than usual, near-black as if a storm was clouding over them. The tears kept falling and all he wanted to do was wipe them from her cheeks and kiss her so violently that all of this would be made better. But he couldn't do that. He couldn't wait for her to break up with him again. He knew if it came to that he wouldn't even be able to keep standing.

"Sorry, Gabi. I gotta do what's best for me. You'll be okay," he said, his voice strangled with bitterness and depression. He was using her own words in her face and she knew it.

As quickly as possible, he put on his jacket and left. Gabriella kept shouting after him, but he pretended not to hear her.

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**Troy breaks up with Gabriella? He finally does what's best for himself?! Thoughts? Reactions? Remember to Review!**

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